Didja ever wonder.....

1. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops..... On my desk I have a work station...

2. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

3. If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?

4. I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

5. I don’t have a solution, but I admire your problem.

6. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you’re ahead"?

7. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

8. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

9. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

10. If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold           tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

11. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery            is dead?

12. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?

13. Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?

14. Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them              what time it is?

15. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they            already know you don’t have?

16. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is                expanding, what is it expanding into?

17. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

18. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

19. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

20. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??

It sounds like a near hit to me!!

21. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

22. Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not adoor?

23. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you.

Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

24. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

25. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

26. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dish-washing liquid contains real lemons?

27. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

28. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

29. Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

30. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

31. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as "4’s"?

32. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

 

         Return to Title (Front) Page  or to select a different category of humor
          Click here  to read more jokes in this category