So theres this family of Schmohawk Indians sitting around the shtetl one night. The papa, Geronowitz; the mama, Pocayenta; and the beautiful young daughter, Minihorowitz.
"So, nu," says the daughter, "Youll never believe."
"What?", says the mama.
"Today, at high noon, I was proposed to in marriage."
"Yes?" says the mama, "so what did you say?"
"I said Yes".
"You said Yes?".
"I said Yes".
"Thats wonderful," says the mama. "She said Yes! Did you hear that Geronowitz? Our little Minihorowitz is getting married!"
"I heard," says the papa, "Im kvelling. So whos the lucky boy?"
"Sittin Bialy."
"Sittin Bialy?," says the mama, "of the SoSiouxMe tribe?"
"Thats the one," says Minihorowitz.
"Oy, Geronowitz! The SoSiouxMes! There are so many of them! How can we feed them? How can we get them all in our teepee for the wedding?"
"Well think of something," says Geronowitz.
"Geronowitz! Get me a buffalo!"
"What, at this hour?"
"No, Geronowitz, for the wedding! I can make buffalo tzimmes from the meat, and we can make an extra teepee from the hide. Get me a buffalo!"
So Geronowitz goes out to hunt a buffalo. A day goes by, and a night, and Geronowitz has not come back. Another day and another night, and still no sign of him. Another day and half the night, and Geronowitz comes home. Exhausted. Staggering. And empty-handed.
"Geronowitz!, Ive been worried sick. Where have you been? And wheres my buffalo?!"
"Its like this," he says. "On my first day out, I hunted high, and I hunted low, and I finally found a buffalo. But this buffalo, he made Mickey Rooney look strong. It was a tiny, scrawny little buffalo, with no meat on his bones for buffalo tzimmes, and barely enough hide for a rain hat.. So I settled in for the night to try again the next day.
"The second day, I looked high, and I looked low, from this way and that way, and I finally found a buffalo. He was a big buffalo, with lots of meat, and lots of hide, but I tell you, Pocayenta, this was the ugliest buffalo I ever saw in my life. This, I thought to myself, is not the buffalo for MY daughters wedding. So again, I settled in for the night to try again the next day.
"The third day, I got up early, and I looked high and I looked low, from this way and that way, going up hills and down hills, and I found a buffalo. It was a big buffalo. It was, as buffalos go, a beautiful buffalo. It was, if I say so myself, the perfect buffalo. This, I says to myself, is the buffalo Pocayenta wants for Minihorowitzs wedding.
"So I reach into my backpack quietly for my tomahawk, as I tip-toe over to the buffalo. I raise my tomahawk slowly over the buffalos neck, when suddenly, like a bolt of lightning from the sky, I see it. Ive brought the dairy tomahawk!"
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