A lovely young woman in the throes of a serious romantic relationship was invited by her boyfriend to dine at his parents' home one evening. This being her first meeting with her beau's parents, she began the evening in a state of nervous anxiety.

Things went well from the start. From first introductions to sitting down for dinner, the transition from new acquaintances to friends progressed rapidly. The fancy home-cooked meal, however, didn't exactly agree with her nervous stomach -- particularly the broccoli casserole. By the time that coffee was served, the young woman was experiencing gas pains acute enough to make her eyes water. She excused herself and made a couple of quick trips to the bathroom, but relief was only temporary and new pressure built up immediately and relentlessly.

Mortified but with no other choice, she allowed herself to let out a tiny toot of flatulence. It was truly a tiny toot, but it occurred during a momentary lull in conversation, and everyone at the table heard it. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed about this faux pas, her boyfriend's
father looked sternly over at this dog, which had been snoozing comfortably on the dining room floor behind her. "Skippy!" he said overloudly and in a rather stern voice. The dog looked up, droop-eared and cowed, and lowered its head again.

The woman progressed from embarrassment to surprise to relief in a single second. "This is great!" she thought to herself, and a smile turned up the corners of her pretty mouth. A couple of minutes later, when the inevitable pressures in her abdomen mounted to intolerable levels again, she didn't
hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father didn't hesitate either. He glared at his hapless dog and yelled, "Dammit, Skippy!"

Once again, the woman smiled inwardly. And when a few minutes later she felt the uncomfortable feelings coalescing in her bowels, she felt an almost pleasurable sense of anticipation at the instant relief that she planned to give herself. A few minutes later, she birthed a tremendous fart, one that rivaled the sound of a train whistle as it vented into the dining room.

At this, the father threw down his napkin in disgust and shouted at his dog, "Goddammit, Skippy! Would you please get the fuck away from that nasty bitch before she shits on you!!"

         Return to Title (Front) Page  or to select a different category of humor
         Click here  to read more jokes in this category