My nookie days are over,

my pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appealIs

Now my water spout.

Time was when, of its own accord,

From my trousers it would spring.

But now I've got a full time job

Just to find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing,

The way it would behave.

For every single morning

It would stand and watch me shave.

As my old age approaches,

It sure gives me the blues,

To see it hang its head in shame