PROFESSIONS DEFINED
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an
accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances
that there will be another bomb on the plane. (Laurence J.Peter)
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't
understand.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
(Charles R. Darwin)
A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."
(Franz Kafka)
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time
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