The Parrot
A guy decides that maybe hed like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After
looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesnt have any feet
or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?."
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "Im a defective parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood
what I said and answered me."
"I understood every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent,
thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this : how do you hang onto your perch
without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you
asked Ill tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of
like a little hook. You cant see it cause of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand and answer, cant
you?" "Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any subject : politics, religion, sports, physics,
philosophy ... and I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to buy me. I am a great
companion."
The guy looks at the price tag. $200. He says. "I cant afford that."
"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. "Nobody
wants me cause I dont have any feet. You can get me for $20. Just make an
offer."
The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is
sensational. Hes funny, hes interesting, hes a great pal, he understands
everything, sympathizes, gives good advice.
The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says,
"pssst," and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage.
"I dont know if I should tell you this or not", says the parrot, "but
its about your wife and the mailman..."
"What?" says the guy. "What?"
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today your wife
greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy. "Then the mailman came into the house
and lifted up the nightgown and began petting her all over," reports the parrot.
"My God!!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his knees and began to lick her body,
starting with her breasts slowly going down and down..."
The parrot pauses for a long time ...
"What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.
"I dont know," says the Parrot, "My dick got hard and I fell off my
perch."
Return to Title (Front)
Page or to select a different category of humor
Click here
to read more jokes in this category
To e-mail me or send
your jokes
harry@gluckman.com