Parents Glossary...
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesnt appreciate strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when youre mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though theyre sure youre not raising them right.
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first babys pacifier by boiling it and to our last babys pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the babys face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.
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