MORE BUMPER STICKERS

I love animals, they taste great.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Sometimes I let her sleep"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . . Not screaming and yelling like his passengers...."

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"

"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

I brake for no apparent reason.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.

Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

No radio - Already stolen. .

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

Few women admit their age;  Fewer men act it.

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