The Month After Chanukah
Twas the month after Chanukah,
and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies Id nibble, the latkes Id taste
At Chanukah parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
Id remember the marvelous meals Id prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine or the egg creams, the bread and the cheese
And the way Id never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husbands old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as only I can
"You cant spend the winter disguised as a man!"
Soaway with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of all chocolate, each cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I wont have a cookienot even a lick.
Ill want to chew only a long celery stick.
I wont have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
Ill munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
Im hungry, Im lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isnt that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
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