Kids in Church....
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable
about the bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which
virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James virgin?"
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They
were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie
raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the
neighbor's wife."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the
Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into
temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail. Amen."
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One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting
up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain
some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked
sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the
little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
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And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us
our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't
make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I
am."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they
were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are
sleeping."
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he
moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it
again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her
mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were
sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big
sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door? They're Hushers!"