(Note:  These Must Be Said Out Loud  to be really funny!)

Dung On Mai Shu ----------I stepped in excrement
Ai Bang Mai Ne ------------I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu -------- --------A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat -------- ----------You need a face lift
Dum Gai --------------------- A stupid person
Gun Pao Der --------------- An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung ------------- Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding ----- ------We have reason to believe you are hiding a fugitive
Jan Ne Ka Sun ----------- A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia -------------------- Approach me
Lao Ze Sho ---------------- Gilligan's Island
Lao Zi ------------------------ Not very good
Lin Ching ------------------- An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding ----------- A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn ---------------------- A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai -------------------- A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be ------------ A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne -------------- A small horse
Ten Ding Ba --------------- Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung ----------- A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan ------------- Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah ------------ Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim --------------- Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting ---- -----There is no reason to raise your voice