More Male Bashing

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

__________________

Why did the man cross the road?

He heard the chicken was a slut.

__________________

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

__________________

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask directions.

__________________

What do men and sperm have in common?

They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

__________________

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer.

__________________

What is the difference between men and government bonds?

The bonds mature.

__________________

Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

__________________

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don't know; it has never happened.

__________________

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

They all already have boyfriends.

__________________

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

__________________

When do you care for a man's company?

When he owns it.

__________________

What are a woman's four favorite animals?

A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.

__________________

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

__________________

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

His hand caught fire.

__________________

 

How do you get a man to do sit-ups?

 

Put the remote control between his toes.

___________________

 

What did God say after creating man?

 

I must be able to do better than that.

___________________

 

What did God say after creating Eve?

 

"Practice makes perfect."

___________________

 

How are men and parking spots alike?

 

Good ones are always taken.

Free ones are extremely small or deficient in some other way.

___________________

 

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

 

They're married.

___________________

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"

God says: "So you would love her."

"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"

God says: "So she would love you." 

         WB01372_.gif (406 bytes) Return to Title (Front) Page  or to select a different category of humor
          WB01372_.gif (406 bytes) Click here  to read more jokes in this category 

        To e-mail me or send your jokes  mailbox.gif (1062 bytes)   harry@gluckman.com