Little Billy returned home from school one day and announced that he had received an "F" in arithmetic. "How did that happen"" his father demanded to know.

"Well," said Billy, "The teacher asked 'how much is 2x3, and I said 6."

"But that's the right answer," retorted Dad.

"Then she asked me how much is 3x2," Billy continued.

"What's the fucking difference?" answered the boy's father.

"That's exactly what I said, too," the young fellow asserted.

LITTLE BILLY came running into the house and asked, "Mom, can little girls have babies?"

"No, son, of course not," replied his amused mother.

Billy made a 180 and headed back to yard. His mom overheard him yell to his friends,
"It's OK. We can play that game again!"

LITTLE BILLY'S teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice. With hands waving everywhere, she called on little Suzie, who responded, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looks beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," said the encouraging teacher. Then she called on Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Splendid, excellent, Michael," the teacher enthused. Then she mused out loud that she should call on someone who had not raised his hand and espied Little Billy at the back of the room. "What's your answer, Billy?" she asked.

Billy hesitated but a moment before replying, "Last night at the dinner table my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and my father said, 'Beautiful, just fuckin' beautiful.'"

LITTLE BILLY'S teacher made the mistake of calling on him on another occasion, when she was teaching her students multi-syllabic words. Little Billy waved his hand wildly after Miss Jones asked for students to cite examples of multi-syllabic words. At length and in spite of her better
judgment, she relented and called on him.

"Mas-tur-bate," he announced proudly.

Miss Jones blushed and tried to control the smile that was curling up the corners of her mouth. "Well, gee, Billy, that's really a mouthful," she said.

Little Billy replied, "No, ma'am. You're thinking of a blow job."

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