Harry's Humble House of Humor on the Hinternet

           You don't stop laughing because you grow old;           
                 You grow old because you stop laughing!
 
              
   

        


              CHILDREN IN SCHUL

A little boy was attending  his first wedding.
After the  ceremony, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that  he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know  that?"
"Easy," the little  boy said.
"All you have to do  is add it up, like the Rabbi said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4  richer, 4 poorer."
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After a Shul service on Sabbath morning, a young boy  suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a Rabbi  When I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide  that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to Shul on  Sabbath anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell,  than to sit and listen."
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A boy was watching his father, a rabbi, write a sermon. 
"How do you know what  to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me." 
"Oh, then why do you  keep crossing things out?"
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A little girl became restless as the rabbi's  High Holy  Day appeal sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother  and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he  let us go?"
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After the circumcising of his baby brother in,  little Jonah sobbed  all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three  times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That rabbi  said he wanted us brought up in a Jewish home and I want to stay with you  guys!"
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The Religious School  Teacher asks, "Now, Sammy, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" 
"No sir," little Sammy replies, "I don't have to. My  Mom is a good cook."
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Rabbi Cohen tells us, "After a  Shabbat service at the  Temple in Owensboro, Kentucky, a mother  with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to  sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she  leaned over  and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Rabbi Cohen is going to lose his  place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'
It  worked."
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This is the best one     

 A little girl was sitting on her  grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to  time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his  wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Zaydeh, did God  make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long  time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Zaydeh, did God  make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just  a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she  observed, "God's getting better at it.”

 

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