TRENDY COMPUTER VIRUSES

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

TIM ALLEN VIRUS: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

WOODY ALLEN VIRUS.: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

AMERICAN AIRLINES VIRUS: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore and it sprays pesticide in your face to get rid of the bugs in your program.

AT&T VIRUS - Every three minutes it tells you what great service you’re getting.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk, then re-attaches it. (2) Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

SONY BONO VIRUS: Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of no where

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but complains loudly about foreign software.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and then sends you a bill for $6,000.

HEALTH MAINTAINANCE ORGANIZATION VIRUS: Requires thirty day waiting period and pre-authorization from Microsoft before opening any new program. Limits usage of other programs.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to mysteriously reappear a year later in another directory.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS - Never calls itself a "Virus", but instead refers to itself as an "Electronic MicroOrganism".

MARIO CUOMO VIRUS - It could be a great virus, but refuses to run.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS: Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC

DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in the computer goes Goofy

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - Absolutely nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine!

STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files reported as the same size.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

SPICE GIRL VIRUS: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop and a lot of noise

 

TONYA HARDING VIRUS: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

SADDAM HUSSEIN VIRUS.: .Won’t let you into any of your programs

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: . Searches your hard drive for old files & deletes them

MCI VIRUS - Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T Virus.

MONICA LEWINSKY VIRUS: Sucks all the memory out of your computer

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Causes your printer to transform into a paper shredder.

PBS VIRUS - Your computer stops every few minutes to solicit financial donations.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS - Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits!

COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn’t do anything.

ELVIS PRESLEY VIRUS - Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-destructs - only to resurface at shopping malls, service stations and professional football games all across America!!

PROZAC VIRUS.: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Thier is sumtheng rong with yure coputter, but yue cant fugyur outt watt!!

PAUL REVERE VIRUS - This revolutionary Virus does not horse around! It warns you of impending hard disk attack - Once if by LAN, twice if by C:

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS - Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase one, it first requires you to see a professional counselor about possible alternatives.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS.: Terminates and stays resident, stating "I’ll be back!"

SEARS AUTOMOTIVE VIRUS: Your data won’t appear unless you buy new cables, battery and shocks.

OJ SIMPSON VIRUS - It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to never stop looking for the virus that did it. (2) You think it’s guilty of trashing your system, but you just can’t prove it.

STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

KEN STARR VIRUS: Exposes all hidden files.

MARTHA STEWART VIRUS: Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.

SHARON STONE VIRUS: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it’s there.

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure it’s bigger than any other file in your computer.

TITANIC VIRUS.: . Makes your whole computer go down

TED TURNER VIRUS - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after taking one byte