she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday -

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

she thought a quarterback was a refund

she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order -

she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center -

she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats -

under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics" -

she tried to drown a fish

she tripped over a cordless phone

she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"

she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind -

she got stabbed in a shoot-out

she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK" -

she sat on the tv and watched the couch

she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back -

they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade -

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius"

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store -

it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes

if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless -

she studied for a blood test - and failed

she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train -

she sold the car for gas money

when she saw the "NC-17" sign, (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends

when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved -

she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bil.

when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.