Redneck Computer Lingo

"Hard drive" --     Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of                              fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ----     Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------     Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------      When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" -------     How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" ---------     Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" --------       First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------     What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" -----     Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.
"Mouse" -------     Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"LAN" --------       To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------      What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"bit" ---------         A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch                                                                                                     longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------       What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.

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