YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLDER WHEN.....

1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

2. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.

11. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

14. Almost everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt - doesn’t work.

15. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

17. You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

         WB01372_.gif (406 bytes) Return to Title (Front) Page  or to select a different category of humor
          WB01372_.gif (406 bytes) Click here  to read more jokes in this category 

        To e-mail me or send your jokes  mailbox.gif (1062 bytes)   harry@gluckman.com