He who hesitates is probably right.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand....

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

Death to all fanatics!

Don’t be sexist; broads hate that.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists—they don’t expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

It has been determined that research causes cancer in rats.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.