* Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.

* Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

* Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

* Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.

* After 56 she is like Australia; everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

The Ages of Man:

1. Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly

2. Between 27 and 46: Try weekly

3. Over 47: Try weakly