SILLY SIGNS

 In a restroom:    TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:  AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: 
                           PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
 
In a London department store:  BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
 
In an office:  WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY
                       PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
 
In another office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
                            AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
 
Outside a secondhand shop:  WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. 
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 
 Notice in health food shop window:    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
 
Spotted in a safari park:   ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
 
Seen during a conference:  FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
                                          THERE IS A DAY CARE  ON THE 1ST FLOOR
 
Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
 
Message on a leaflet:  IF YOU CANNOT READ,
                                    THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
 
On a repair shop door:  WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. 
                                     (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE  DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T  WORK)